it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
