The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
