I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
