well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
