remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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