Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
