I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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