I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
