He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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