he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
