guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
