I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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