then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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