i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
