His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
