dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
