theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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