Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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