i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
