It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
