I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
