that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Watching her eat just hurts me
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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