Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
