either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
When are your genitals available?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
