the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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