The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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