Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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