As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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