As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
