I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
