there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
