More tranny stories later!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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