whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
