kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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