She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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