Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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