The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
