no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
