ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
