dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
