This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
