You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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