yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
