I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
