So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
