the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
