The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
