when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
