IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
