You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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