i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
